Baby Steps

Before we learn to soar we must first acquire the necessary motor skills to crawl. As adult humans we watch this process in infants countless times in our lives yet we never for a moment consider that as adults we require a learning curve when adapting a new skill set. Often we lose motivation when we do not achieve success immediately. It is hard to trust the process but the end results of doing so is phenomenal.

What is it that famous and successful people have that others do not? The answer is nothing!!! Absolutely nothing!!! They are just people who have followed their passion with all of their heart. They are people who live their desire. They have had countless door slammed in their faces but every time looked for the next door that was open. Success does not happen over night and can be had by all but... you cannot give up on yourself. The only failure is moment you give up on yourself and live on a treadmill of broken dreams and a passionless existence.

I've crashed so many time I cannot count but I've always counted myself lucky for the lessons learned. I've Lost and gained weight so many time over 140lbs have come off and on my body more than I weigh now. I needed a change, I was a rock bottom and I was no longer able to breathe through the misery. This is when I told myself from this I can only climb up and change was my only means for survival. I decided in that moment to start Jillian Micheals Body Revolution a 12 week program that changed my life. In my case it should be called life revolution.

The program pushed me far beyond my comfort level and some points I wondered if I could survive it. This was my catalyst, the door to a new life and I sprinted through and never looked back. Last night Jillian said that we should not be disgusted with our old selves for it was that person who had the courage to change and that shook me to my core. I use to say the old me is dead and I never want to see her again yet she is the reason I inspire people. She deserves respect and love not the disdain I had for her.

The changes I've mad go beyond the physical I have changed spiritually as well. I've become a leader who wants to lead other to be their best selves. I work every day to be better to make new mistakes to learn from. I started by committing to 12 weeks of Body revolution and said that unless I was dead I was not missing a workout. There were points where I thought I would die and I hurt everywhere but I kept going because I made a commitment to me.

They say when you have a why you can tolerate any how. My why was that if I wanted the best for my daughter I had to lead by example. Talk about pressure!!!! I put a picture of Violet moments old in my living room while Jillian killed me a thousand times over. I never gave up and I got stronger and better. I began to believe I deserved everything life has to offer.

I began to clean and edit my life one baby step at a time and continue this practice. It started with exercise then I removed toxic people, cleaned my eating up one nasty habit at a time constantly reading up on nutrition, I worked on my anger issues, I worked on my confidence etc... Now I am here at a happy place which feels like the beginning of my next journey of living my passion and giving up security. One step at a time of course. Last night I was blessed with meeting Jillian Michaels and I got the chance to show the transformation she helped me make. She was so impressed she had me film a testimonial for her film Maximize you Life. This is the biggest validation I have ever received other than myself. This is proof that coming from a place of yes opens doors.

I do not know if the footage will make in to the movie but Jillian at least wanted to hear my story. Most importantly I said thank you! I need to thank her and I did that was the goal and it was a success. Perhaps this a door opening for me or a map to another door I do not know. I want everyone to know that one baby step at a time you can achieve your goals.

Bilal's Story

• 

  I have chosen to share my friend Bilal's story because he motivated me to change he is amzing a real source of inspiration read on:
  
  I still remember that day as if it was yesterday, the day I decided to take control of my life and not let it control me, the day I decided that the life I was living then is not the life I wanted to live in the future. As a kid, I was always overweight, I played a lot of sports, however no amount of sports would compensate for my disgusting eating habits; there were no limitations, I would eat anything and in grotesque amounts. I started working out in grade 10th, made some decent improvement but then I started college… I started work… and I completely stopped any type of physical activities. And that is when it got really bad. College came and went yet the fat remained, but I never thought much of it… I didn’t think it was that bad. In 2009 I started my bachelors in Civil Engineering at Concordia. I wasn’t very serious about university, I was happy as long as I passed my classes, until I failed one… I think that was the first eye opener; I wasn’t taking life seriously. This brings us to September 2nd 2010, I was lying in bed… got up…looked at my reflection and felt disgusted. I knew I was fat but I never realized how severe it had gotten. It was around 10 PM, I called a good friend of mine who had been pushing me to join a gym and told him I was ready to join. I had tried before, and I hadn’t been successful but this time it was different… I felt like this time, I was mentally ready to face myself. I signed a one year contract to Powerflex gym, little did I know, I had just signed to a much happier life. I didn’t know much about working out, so I told myself I would do only cardio and lots of it. That elliptical was mine, I was there…everyday and some days two or three times a day. And my friend, who did not need to do any cardio, was there with me…keeping my vision clear. When I didn’t want to go, he would get me off my ass. I saw results… not only physically but mentally as well. My grades in school skyrocketed. I would train 7-10 times a week, work 25 hours and attend university as a full time student. Its weird to say, but the gym gave my life a new direction. It was tough though because people didn’t understand my new appreciation for the gym or why I would pay so much attention to the food I ate. I started this journey weighing in at 260 lbs, 8 months later I weighed 175 lbs. But I looked sick… the mirror kept telling me I was fat so I continued loosing weight, doing endless hours of cardio and no muscle building exercises. I had lost all that weight, spent all those hours on the cardio machines to look sick…it took its toll on me. But I didn’t let that get in the way of the vision I had of a better me. I started eating more, doing less cardio and more weight lifting. That brings us to now, I’ve graduated from Concordia University and I now work full time, I am still in the gym 5-6 times a week trying to better myself and trying different approaches. I was no fitness or nutrition guru; I was a normal 20-year-old student who wanted a better life for myself but this time, I didn’t let all the excuses I had made in the past get in my way. I would like to thank everyone who helped me along this journey and special thanks to Mario Karaziwan for getting my ass in the gym everyday and keeping me motivated.

Making the most of what you have.

Excuses!!!
We always make up excuses to stay in our comfort zone. After all it is called the comfort zone and it is a place of solace for so many of us. How many Monday have come and gone that were suppose to be the first day of the rest of my life. How many binges I have had the day before the restrictive somewhat ridiculous diets I have followed. How many time have I blamed my lack of fitness on time constraints, lack of equipment, expense of food and lack of support. The point I am trying to make is YOU are responsible for YOU and making excuses for a job not done to yourself may get you out of the work but keep you miserable and unfulfilled.
I can tell I've had it all the trainers, the treadmill, exercise bike,nutritionist and a professional cook for a husband and none of those helped because I was not ready. Oprah has it all except a trim waist line. You cannot buy success. If the original Olympians trained without power, proteins powders or heart rate monitors why is it so impossible for us. It is simple we are spoiled present company included.
The weight loss industry is a multi billion dollar industry that convinces people that it costs money to be healthy. FALSE while it does cost money to live, living healthy should ultimately save you money. She you nourish yourself you eat less. Fruits and veggies are not taxed. I see far too many people who can afford Doritos but not Chia seeds. That being said when one budget one must decipher the value of a food based on cost and nutritional density. Some foods are just luxuries that have cheaper equally healthy substitutions.
While it would be nice to live on an organic planet if you avoid fruits and veggies because you cannot afford organic you are lacking important phyto nutrients. There is always a way to get foods cheaper. My husband and I always buy whatever is on special, in season and we base our menus on that. It allows a certain excitement googling recipes for stuff a year ago I would have never eaten. Co-op are amazing I got a bak of spelt flour 25kg for 52$ a year worth of flour comparative bulk barn wanted 92$ for the non organic version. Chia seeds at the grocery store cost a fortune but are affordable at Costco as well as hemp hearts.
Where there is a will there is a way last week on biggest loser a team trained a whole week with sugar and flowers sacs as their only equipment. Water bottles filled with sand or water can make dumb bells you can even weigh them on a scale. A scarf or towel can be a resistance band. Body weight training is amazing I love Jillian Michael Yoga Inferno it require no equipment and will be my workout for spring break. Power walks in malls are popular in Montreal and there are probably groups on meet up.
Use what you have is important while kijiji.com is a good place to get used good do no underestimate what you can do with,title to no equipment. Jumping jacks, skipping rope ( no rope needed) and running in place can be a satisfying workout. I am not telling people to forgo equipment but do not go broke thinking the only way to get the unrealistic body we dream of is buy buy buy buy and buy. For the budget challenged i reccomend amazon.ca where most DVDs are under 20$ and beachbody.com where full systems can be purchased in instalment plans and are usually under 100$. Research kick boxing is in my opinion one of the best home workouts I love Les Mills Combat as well as Jillian Micheals Body Revolution from thane.ca.
Ask yourself what you have what you can borrow and bartering is an option too. Shape magazines website has many home workout that can be done with minimal equipment. There are so many resources out there do not limit yourself by what you cannot have empower yourself by reaching your goals and beating down all your obstacles so you can have your best life.

Making the most of what you have.

Excuses!!!
We always make up excuses to stay in our comfort zone. After all it is called the comfort zone and it is a place of solace for so many of us. How many Monday have come and gone that were suppose to be the first day of the rest of my life. How many binges I have had the day before the restrictive somewhat ridiculous diets I have followed. How many time have I blamed my lack of fitness on time constraints, lack of equipment, expense of food and lack of support. The point I am trying to make is YOU are responsible for YOU and making excuses for a job not done to yourself may get you out of the work but keep you miserable and unfulfilled.
I can tell I've had it all the trainers, the treadmill, exercise bike,nutritionist and a professional cook for a husband and none of those helped because I was not ready. Oprah has it all except a trim waist line. You cannot buy success. If the original Olympians trained without power, proteins powders or heart rate monitors why is it so impossible for us. It is simple we are spoiled present company included.
The weight loss industry is a multi billion dollar industry that convinces people that it costs money to be healthy. FALSE while it does cost money to live, living healthy should ultimately save you money. She you nourish yourself you eat less. Fruits and veggies are not taxed. I see far too many people who can afford Doritos but not Chia seeds. That being said when one budget one must decipher the value of a food based on cost and nutritional density. Some foods are just luxuries that have cheaper equally healthy substitutions.
While it would be nice to live on an organic planet if you avoid fruits and veggies because you cannot afford organic you are lacking important phyto nutrients. There is always a way to get foods cheaper. My husband and I always buy whatever is on special, in season and we base our menus on that. It allows a certain excitement googling recipes for stuff a year ago I would have never eaten. Co-op are amazing I got a bak of spelt flour 25kg for 52$ a year worth of flour comparative bulk barn wanted 92$ for the non organic version. Chia seeds at the grocery store cost a fortune but are affordable at Costco as well as hemp hearts.
Where there is a will there is a way last week on biggest loser a team trained a whole week with sugar and flowers sacs as their only equipment. Water bottles filled with sand or water can make dumb bells you can even weigh them on a scale. A scarf or towel can be a resistance band. Body weight training is amazing I love Jillian Michael Yoga Inferno it require no equipment and will be my workout for spring break. Power walks in malls are popular in Montreal and there are probably groups on meet up.
Use what you have is important while kijiji.com is a good place to get used good do no underestimate what you can do with,title to no equipment. Jumping jacks, skipping rope ( no rope needed) and running in place can be a satisfying workout. I am not telling people to forgo equipment but do not go broke thinking the only way to get the unrealistic body we dream of is buy buy buy buy and buy. For the budget challenged i reccomend amazon.ca where most DVDs are under 20$ and beachbody.com where full systems can be purchased in instalment plans and are usually under 100$. Research kick boxing is in my opinion one of the best home workouts I love Les Mills Combat as well as Jillian Micheals Body Revolution from thane.ca.
Ask yourself what you have what you can borrow and bartering is an option too. Shape magazines website has many home workout that can be done with minimal equipment. There are so many resources out there do not limit yourself by what you cannot have empower yourself by reaching your goals and beating down all your obstacles so you can have your best life.

Food!!!

I promised I would write a blog about my journey with food and it is hard one to write because I do not believe that there is one solid food path that suits everyone. I firmly believe that we need to adapt how we to our personalities and lifestyle. Every person experiences life differently an as such have different likes and dislikes. Foods worth the sacrifice of extra calories to me would be ridiculous to some and vice versa.

  I grew up on meat and potatoes and the typical processed fare of the 1980's such fruit loops Kraft Dinner and a nostalgic favourite of mine cheese whiz. I was however fortunate to have spent a lot of time with my grandmother who knew the old ways of preparing everything from scratch. In the fall we would make pies, can everything from her crazy huge garden, make jam you name it we did it bread, pizza dough the list could go on all day. So while I was corrupted by chicken tonight
commercials and that silly rabbit pimping out trix to kids I still had an understanding of real food.

  At 15 I became a Vegetarian it probably took me 15 years to really design a proper eating regiment because I was so far corrupted by crap food. I have been on weight watchers felt restricted and angry counting their stupid fucking points excuse my language but I'll always be bitter over the day I wanted porridge and I had already consumed too many points! I was on south beach it was effective till I resumed my love affair with bread. I followed the Canada's Food and I've had a nutritionist. I have also read hundred of books and my weight has yo yo'd from pudgy, thin and obese.

  Two things happened when I had Violet and realized that in my opinion I was a fat cow 1. I realized I needed to break the chain because I loved this little person so much I would die if she ever felt this bad about herself. 2. I needed to be fit and healthy to be the parent I wanted to be to her. I never wanted to be the parent that was to tired and out of shape to keep up or the parent so obsessed about food that it was inherited by the child.

  I needed to completely change my eating habits as well as my ideas about dieting. I did two I read naturally thin by Bethenny Frankel and 2 read everything I could about properly nourishing my body.
Bethenny's first rule is your diet is bank account that like your fiscal budget food needs to be viewed in terms of its worth to you. If you overspend eventually you need to make up for it. An example from my life is I want dessert every night well almost. I know a dessert ranges from 100-500 calories which could blow a whole day of workouts. However I am not a snacker so for me it evens out. If I know I am eating out instead of restricting myself to something on the menu that is dissatisfying and restrictive I can choose to eat very carefully the day before and after to balance it out. It is a budget I find this way of viewing my eating very helpful, sometimes it is an extra workout or a day without dessert but I never feel guilty about indulging I think that is key.

   Guilt about enjoying the foods we love makes us fatter than the food. We feel that we blow our diet because of a piece of cake and voila Pandora's box is open and so our fridge become and all you can eat buffet. There are 10 rules in her book and I love them all. Another I love is taste everything eat nothing by this she means that a lot of the time we can be satisfied with bite or two instead of the whole thing. There is a point of diminishing returns in her own words she says that moment the stops tasting as good as the first bit you stop.

   In addition to following Bethenny's Rules I also cut out processed foods this way extremely difficult. I keep fine tuning my eating always in search of the healthiest way to prepare delicious foods that keep me satisfied. The reality is that no one is going to stick to an eating plan where they feel unsatisfied with everything they eat. I learned that I quite enjoy fermented foods and drinks like kraut, Kombucha, Kefir etc... I also really enjoy eating now I google different recipes all the time. I keep it exciting. For me a diet of the same 5 healthy dished does not work. I need variety food must be an experience for me. In future blogs I will focus on how I made classic dishes like pizza much  healthier, how to make yogurt, kombucha and ferment foods and many other topics. Please feel free to ask questions and suggest topics that you would like me to cover I am up for researching things because I am always eager to learn more.

My Journey Part 1

On February 4th 2012 I was in full blown labour with my daughter Violet and intense contraction my life was about to change forever, this was the happiest day of my life yet all that was going through my mind was god dammit I'm fat, fatter than ever I am disgusting I hate this. I did not allow anyone to take photos of me and Violet in her first week because I was too fat. I am vain to a fault and if I do not look and feel fabulous I cease to live.

  I had been thin before I knew the calories in calories out formula and I always worked out at cardio is my addiction but something was missing what? By the time Violet was 3 months old I had lost 30 or so pounds the pregnancy weight but let's face it I was fat when I got pregnant so I was still fat after  losing the pregnancy weight.

  When I got married I was is pretty decent shape then a sudden family tragedy led me to be so bereaved that I just slept all day only crawling out of bed to eat or do cardio ( it was not keeping me thin but it was keeping as sane as possible given the circumstances). I gained 27 pounds from the 30th of June 2010 to the 30th of October 2010 and that was pure Pizza Hut and Doritos to be quite honest.

  After Violet was born I struggled to breast feed her due to a tongue tie, torticollis and severe reflux. I spent most of her early life waiting for doctors. On the family end my husband and I were getting a lot of grief from his family over how we chose to live our lives and our unwillingness to relinquish control of our lives and our relationship to them. After couples counselling we were able to understand that we need not feel guilty about putting our needs first and that for Violets sake we needed a peaceful environment that was stable and loving.

  We had a clean slate it was amazing what living for our own happiness did for us and Violet. I read Naturally Thin by Bethenny Frankel and I followed her eating guidelines such "your diet is a bank account" I started to view food in term of if it was really worth it and quite often is was not. Another guideline I loved from Bethenny was you can have it all just not all at once this wrung true Oliver and I use to go all out every time we ate bad led us to feel guilty and binge again and again. I loss 20 pounds effortlessly reading Naturally Thin and I recommend it to everyone who asks what I did.

 I was happy with weight loss but I was not there yet. I was doing a lot of great cardio including Turbo Jam and Turbo Fire from beach body.com and it did wonder but now I needed to bite the bullet and strength train. I was afraid of failure and I kept putting off then I stumbled on Jillian Michael's Body Revolution (thane.ca) it had a schedule and I vowed for 90 days come hell or high water I would do it. Let me tell you when she says you may feel like vomiting, see stars and feel like your dying she was telling the truth. After 90 miserable days in Jillian's words I did not recognize myself anymore I was now the weight I was at my wedding but with more muscle than when I trained in gym.

 Week 12 was wrought with anxiety of what to do next so at the wend of week 12 I started again with week 1. In retrospect maybe not the best idea to do the same program twice but at the end of round 2 I was looking even better. Then my greatest fear my 17 day road trip through the south so many fattening foods. I got up to work out at 5 am almost everyday. There was not a day I did not workout in 17 day. My friend and I bought weights and did body revolution in the hotel rooms even the small ones. I counted calories using mynetdiary app on my iPhone and in 17 days I lost 1 pound woo hoo I did not gain I was thrilled.

 My last day in Miami I stared Les Mils Combat I am currently in Week 5 already I have lost an inch from my waist impressive at this point in the game. I really love Les Mills. This is my first instalment  my next blog entry will cover my food journey in depth. If this blog helps one person claim their health then it is worth bearing my soul.