My Journey Part 1

On February 4th 2012 I was in full blown labour with my daughter Violet and intense contraction my life was about to change forever, this was the happiest day of my life yet all that was going through my mind was god dammit I'm fat, fatter than ever I am disgusting I hate this. I did not allow anyone to take photos of me and Violet in her first week because I was too fat. I am vain to a fault and if I do not look and feel fabulous I cease to live.

  I had been thin before I knew the calories in calories out formula and I always worked out at cardio is my addiction but something was missing what? By the time Violet was 3 months old I had lost 30 or so pounds the pregnancy weight but let's face it I was fat when I got pregnant so I was still fat after  losing the pregnancy weight.

  When I got married I was is pretty decent shape then a sudden family tragedy led me to be so bereaved that I just slept all day only crawling out of bed to eat or do cardio ( it was not keeping me thin but it was keeping as sane as possible given the circumstances). I gained 27 pounds from the 30th of June 2010 to the 30th of October 2010 and that was pure Pizza Hut and Doritos to be quite honest.

  After Violet was born I struggled to breast feed her due to a tongue tie, torticollis and severe reflux. I spent most of her early life waiting for doctors. On the family end my husband and I were getting a lot of grief from his family over how we chose to live our lives and our unwillingness to relinquish control of our lives and our relationship to them. After couples counselling we were able to understand that we need not feel guilty about putting our needs first and that for Violets sake we needed a peaceful environment that was stable and loving.

  We had a clean slate it was amazing what living for our own happiness did for us and Violet. I read Naturally Thin by Bethenny Frankel and I followed her eating guidelines such "your diet is a bank account" I started to view food in term of if it was really worth it and quite often is was not. Another guideline I loved from Bethenny was you can have it all just not all at once this wrung true Oliver and I use to go all out every time we ate bad led us to feel guilty and binge again and again. I loss 20 pounds effortlessly reading Naturally Thin and I recommend it to everyone who asks what I did.

 I was happy with weight loss but I was not there yet. I was doing a lot of great cardio including Turbo Jam and Turbo Fire from beach body.com and it did wonder but now I needed to bite the bullet and strength train. I was afraid of failure and I kept putting off then I stumbled on Jillian Michael's Body Revolution (thane.ca) it had a schedule and I vowed for 90 days come hell or high water I would do it. Let me tell you when she says you may feel like vomiting, see stars and feel like your dying she was telling the truth. After 90 miserable days in Jillian's words I did not recognize myself anymore I was now the weight I was at my wedding but with more muscle than when I trained in gym.

 Week 12 was wrought with anxiety of what to do next so at the wend of week 12 I started again with week 1. In retrospect maybe not the best idea to do the same program twice but at the end of round 2 I was looking even better. Then my greatest fear my 17 day road trip through the south so many fattening foods. I got up to work out at 5 am almost everyday. There was not a day I did not workout in 17 day. My friend and I bought weights and did body revolution in the hotel rooms even the small ones. I counted calories using mynetdiary app on my iPhone and in 17 days I lost 1 pound woo hoo I did not gain I was thrilled.

 My last day in Miami I stared Les Mils Combat I am currently in Week 5 already I have lost an inch from my waist impressive at this point in the game. I really love Les Mills. This is my first instalment  my next blog entry will cover my food journey in depth. If this blog helps one person claim their health then it is worth bearing my soul.